“I am burnt out…I have nothing left to give…”
This is what my student shared during her consultation to join a group. She was cooked. And at the end of each day, she found herself eating without being hungry, then feeling sick.
I hear this a lot.
You give, and give, and give. Until you have nothing left.
You end up with what the brilliant Emily Nagoski calls “human giver syndrome”…
And no, this didn’t start with your job, your boss, or your spouse. The dynamics of giving were wired in your earliest environment.
The dynamics of “I relate to you through being useful to you, through being needed…” did not start with you.
There is a huge physiological cost to this dynamic, so the people who seek my help usually come with digestive issues, adrenal fatigue, one or more autoimmune conditions, and chronic pain.
Because there is a physiological cost to this imbalance, our bodies try our best to balance things out.
Some of what people call emotional or uncontrolled eating is actually burnout eating.
The ability to discern what you actually have to give is a listening and sensing skill. Once you are able to feel your body accurately, you have a better chance of knowing what you have to give. Then you can work with what feels good to give in contrast to what feels like giving in order to stay in a relationship.
Once you’ve established that, it will be easier to catch yourself when you override your body’s signals to pull back. You will be able to decrease your energy debt towards your body and your life. And you won’t have to pay your exhausted burnt out self back with overconsumption.
You will have lots left to give. And you’ll be able to choose whether you want to.
in peace with self and peace with food: