Have you ever thought of the enduring character or eating behaviors? About why it is so hard to will yourself out of them? The main reason is their unconscious nature.

They’ve been installed with a function that they perform – and as hard and painful as they are, the wiring is there to keep them in place until you create a different relationship with them. One that listens, one that is curious, one that understands.

There is a complex neurobiological network holding your eating behaviors in place. Unless that complex neurobiological network changes, it’s incredibly difficult and frustrating to try to change your relationship with food. That neurobiological network was formed before and after you were born, continued to evolve within your family of origin, your community, your social belonging, and within the larger reality of the cultural environment you developed in. This network has shaped your character, your behaviors, your coping skills, your strategies, your emotional states, your likes and dislikes. It’s created and continues to create what looks like you and feels like you. That network has saved your life, and your behaviors with food are not a problem, they are an adaptation, a survival strategy, an accommodation to the environment. 

So how will you listen?

One of the reasons why I invite people to explore behaviors together is that it can be super hard to feel, listen and relate from the same place that is holding the patterns in place. Bringing a compassionate witness, someone who knows how to navigate with questions and keep curious exploration alive, is the key to shift what’s painful and what doesn’t work. It is ultimately what will set you free.